all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
