Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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