It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
