So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
