I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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