How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
