i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
