Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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