Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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