i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
