Dual....:-)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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