jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
