She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize