Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
