So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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