I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just cropdusted the office
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
