haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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