ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
