Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
