HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
