My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
