we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
