who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
did i just pee glitter
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
