hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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