I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
