I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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