She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
