i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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