You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
