the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
