I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
