Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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