I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Drunk is not a location!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
