Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
