Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How does one acquire holy water?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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