I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
