My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
