You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
your like the ambassador to my penis.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
