You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
