i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
