Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
