If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This baby is an asshole
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
