you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize