i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
