I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
