I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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