You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
