Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize