I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
