For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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