yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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