Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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