I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
