I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize