...so i touched it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
