somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
