My hand turned me down
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ladies don't puke and tell
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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