I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
