I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
