I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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