i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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