Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
