I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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