you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
