I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
