I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
