I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
