no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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