I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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