so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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