What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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