i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
