Your tits are I can't wait for
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am naked and annoyed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
