That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
