But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize