DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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