Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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