"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize