I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
