I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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