I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
